The Exciting Conclusion...

Sorry, I have been updating my "professional site" so I've neglected my blog - I apologize to my faithful readers that I've left you hanging! So, where was I?

Day 6 (continued)
So there I am at the top of this platform, with a beautiful panoramic view of Lake Arenal, the volcano, and the vast rainforest. It would have been the ultimate experience if it wasn't for the knot in my stomach that came about when I realized the velocity and angle at which I'd be returning to land. I was petrified. You could chicken out, but had to make up your mind during the first two lengths of cable, which were quite tame (they were used as the training part of the journey - one to learn how to use the clip bar/equipment and how to position your body as you go down and the other was to learn how to slow down - mainly for the heavier people.) I was in this position (chicken out or not) once before. I was in Destin, Florida on vacation with a friend who was also in my improv group (a real smart ass). For whatever reason, I wanted to go on the Skycoaster (I'm sure you've seen it, thy have them at carnivals, theme parks, and all over Orlando - you get strapped into a harness, get pulled to the top of a tower and then come screaming down, like you're flying.) There was no line and I had a few beers (aka "Liquid Courage") prior to this, so I paid my $30 and strapped in. On the Skycoatser, you control your own destiny, you have to pull the cord that sends you down. I got up to the top of the tower and thought to myself "I can't do this". Then I thought of the massive amount of ribbing I'd get from my friend and figured death was much less awful than having all of my friends find out that I'm a big wuss. So I pulled the cord and had one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. It was awesome (I don't know that I'd ever do it again, but I'd recommend the experience to anyone.) Back to Costa Rica, on this trip I was also accompanied by a smart ass - my hubby. I knew I had to do it. Paul went down first. I watched him speed down the line, his figure disappearing rapidly from view. Then, my turn. I was shaking as they hooked me onto the cable. If there was ground, I couldn't see it. The guy who was hooking me up asked "Esta listo?" (Are you ready?) I wasn't (I wouldn't ever be, really), but said "Si" and away I went. Oh my God. It was the coolest thing I've ever experienced, topping the Skycoaster and even the Sydney Bridge climb in Australia. After the initial run, I was yelling "Estoy listo!" every time I got ready to take on another line. (I ended up being a translator on this trip - a few of the guys who worked for the Sky Tour didn't speak much English, and of course all of the turistas didn't speak Spanish - there are so many English speaking tourists over there now that most Costariquenos (or Ticos, as they're also called) are pretty fluent in Spanglish. So I am translating instructions to the other turistas and teaching the staff how to say things like "side to side" and "slow down". 5 years of Spanish helped, I guess!) I was really sad when it was over!

The ride back to Tabacon was amusing. There were a bunch of middle aged guys from California with us, and their pseudo-"leader" was this guy who vaguely resembled Gary Busey. He was kind of (loudly) recapping the information the tour guide provided on the tram, and I don't believe he got any of it right. It was only an hour ago...geez! No wonder other countries hate us...

After all of this excitement, we had a traditional Costa Rican buffet dinner (lots of pork, rice and chicken - and tres leches cake for desert...mmmmmm!) We heard the distinctive rumbling that came from the volcano and got to see lava coming down the side of the volcano - it was truly spectacular. The next day was "GUAPOTE!" and we had to get up early, so we made it an early night.

Day 7
GUAPOTE! Yes, we hit Lake Arenal for a little fishing. Our guide took us out on the lake and we caught a variety of bass - none were really impressive, we've caught bigger (ok, Paul's caught bigger) in our lake - but Paul did finally get his GUAPOTE! so it was a good trip. (Don't ask me what I caught - I think a tiger bass (?), some sort of Costa Rican mullet and, of course, a GUAPOTE! (actually, Rainbow Bass) of my very own! Oh, and a horrible sunburn on the tops of my legs - first one of the trip.)

We went back to the resort, grabbed lunch and then headed out on our ATV tour (no sitting around for us!) It was only my second time ever on a 4-wheeler - the first was when I was 15 and went out with my friend Suzie, I got on, started up, went a few feet and promptly crashed into a bush. Needless to say, I was a little nervous. After a few minutes of getting used to the ride in a big empty field (no bushes!), we ventured out and had a nice 2-hour journey. Since we were off-road quite a bit, I got really dirty. And we had already checked out. Great. I had to grab a washcloth and try to clean up as best as I could in the ladies room before we got a ride back to San Jose. We stayed at the Ramada Herradura, which was really nice. When we got in our room, we flipped on the TV, and imagine my delight when my favorite show, "House" was on (it's called "Dr. House" over there - if it were literally translated it would be "Casa" which really doesn't work. By the way, most North American shows have Spanish subtitles, but I did get to see the "Trapped in the Closet" episode of "South Park" dubbed (surprisingly well) in Spanish as well as "Los Simpson"!) We had dinner at Sancho Panza, a Spanish restaurant. We had a delicious paella and a few Imperials as the hours ticked down to burfday #37 (I managed to translate the first bit of 50-Cent's "In Da Club" to Spanish for the occasion - ok...here it is....)

Yo pequeno, es su cumpleanos

Vamos a celebrar como es su cumpleanos

Vamos a beber Bacardi como es su cumpleanos...

...and that's all of the song I know (even in English!)

Day 8
We got up early (again) and jumped on a bus at 6am to head out on a whitewater rafting adventure (See? I am an action figure!) When we got on the bus, there were a bunch of loud, boisterous guys (about our age) already there. They were loudly boasting of their maids and Porsches, so I was not looking forward to spending a few hours with them. Then we went to another hotel to pick up another group and they were late. Real late. They finally got on the bus, we pulled out into the street and immediately turned around and headed back, because one of the new people had the wrong kind of shoes! (I never thought we'd ever be leaving San Jose!) We drove for a few hours to the "operations base" for the river rafting company, loaded up on breakfast (I'm not even going to tell you what I had!) and made our way to the Pacuare River. Since there were only 2 of us, we had to go with some of the loud guys...great. Our tour guide was named Abel and as we headed out, he became less of the friendly tour guide and more of a drill sergeant ("What part of paddle forward do you not understand??") The loud guys became our allies (the ones on our raft were actually nice - they were from Ft. Lauderdale) as our hatred of Abel intensified. At least he was a good guide. We never got caught up on any rocks. The scenery along the river was beautiful - there were tons of waterfalls and cool grottos. There were also some very intense Class III and IV rapids. One group did actually hang themselves up on the rocks and Abel went out to help them, while we waited on the shore. Abel swam back and was floating in the water, asking us to come out in the raft and pick him up. We all just looked at him for a moment - and in that moment, Abel realized what a jerk he had been all day and his demeanor magically changed. The whole ride was 14 miles and took us about 3 hours. It was a lot of fun! We went back to our hotel and dined at the sushi restaurant there (pretty good). Of course, you can't seem to go anywhere in Costa Rica anymore with out some loud North American bragging about his business acumen, finances, golf game, whatever - no wonder they hate us....All in all, an excellent birthday!

Day 9
Sniffle! Today was our last day in this beautiful country. We had an early (of course) flight, but had time for the obligatory souvenir shopping (the coffee there is awesome, so we picked some up, as well as gifts for family and friends) and no trip overseas would be complete without a stop at the duty-free store! We went from paradise to hell in a matter of hours...Miami Airport was a zoo (as always) and the traffic (on a Sunday, no less) was awful. When are we going back? Soon I hope!

Christine's Costa Rica Adventure - I'm an Action Figure!

Ok. Now, where was I...

Day 5
Today we left Crocodile Bay and headed back to San Jose. We were headed for Tabacon, a resort and spa that are very close to the Arenal Volcano. The place is about 3 hours from San Jose. We took a cab (!) there, as there was only one (inconvenient) flight there via puddle jumper. It was a beautiful drive however, as we wound our way up and down the mountains, passing through small towns, souvenir stands and one very odd toll booth (it was a rickety little shack with hand painted information on the side. Our cab driver stopped, said hello to the lady in the booth and drove on, without paying a dime (or a colon, the currency in C.R.) We deduced it was probably a toll only for the gullible "turistas"! And then we were there...and it was beautiful!

The place was gorgeous - lush landscaping, beautiful architecture, friendly staff. Our room was luxurious as well (really comfy bed). This part of the trip was dubbed "mine" as there was nowhere for Paul to fish. Until...

If there's an opportunity to fish, Paul will find it. He went over to the concierge to make sure all of our eco-tours were booked and discovered he could go fishing in Lake Arenal for indigenous Costa Rican rainbow bass, or Guapotes. So, of course, he booked this and this part of the trip became "ours". (And "GUAPOTE!" was Paul's battle cry for the next 3 days!) One thing I noticed while Paul was talking with the concierge was the video running behind her desk. It featured all of the eco-tours that were available through the resort. They showed zip line tours (which we were going to do) ATVs (which we also were going to do) horseback riding and such. The video also spotlighted the hot springs - which I guess sell themselves, because the folks in the video did not provide any additional temptation! It was 5 minutes of pasty, old, fat white guys shuffling along and sitting like a lump on a log in the water. Eeeewwwww! But I digress...

As soon as we settled in, we walked down to the hot springs. "Hot springs" is definitely not a misnomer! The scenery was breathtaking, with natural waterfalls and even more beautiful flora and fauna (and one little iguana scooting across the walkway.) The volcano was awesome, I had never seen one before. It's an active one, so we could see smoke coming out of the top of it. The springs are hot because of the volcano - some were so hot, I couldn't even get in. Paul, of course, plunged right in to each and every one! The swimming pool was really the only place where I could stay in the water for more than a minute or so (maybe it was because it had a pool bar? Yay, pool bar!) We had a light lunch there because we were having our big dinner that night (it was also my birthday dinner.) The restaurant was lovely, and very fancy-schmancy (with the 9 million forks, knives and spoons on the table - "Oh, that's your asparagus fork!" and even sorbet!) The food there was so good (we didn't have a bad meal on the whole trip actually.) We were sleepy after dinner, so it was off to sleep and onto our next day's adventure.

Day 6
Today was my favorite day on the trip. We had a bountiful breakfast buffet (more gallo pinto for me!) and were off to the Sky Tram tour. This was the canopy tour through the rainforest. I always thought that they were laid back affairs, where you move yourself leisurely across zip lines from tree to tree. Imagine my surprise when I got to the base and found out that "laid back" was definitely not happening today! We had to get into harnesses and those helmets that would even make Albert Einstein look like the "Ding, Fries Are Done" guy. We the got into a tram that took us waaaaaayyyyyy up into the mountains. That part could have been laid back, if I wasn't starting to freak out about how we were going to get down. You could see the zip lines - they were long and, instead of taking you on a horizontal, tree to tree path they did an almost 90 degree drop from platform to platform (guess that's why they're called zip lines, huh?)Guess what? I'm spent! I will give you a teaser...to be continued...

One more...

I know most of you couldn't care less about Peter Frampton, but I adore him. Posting the videos I find of him here is so convenient for me - I can watch these a million times - so the heck with you all if you don't like it! I am still clinging to the hope that I will actually be able to meet the man before I die. So if you Googled "Peter Frampton" and ended up here, and you actually are Peter Frampton...

Ahhh...You Tube...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get harassed by many people about my obsession with one Mr. Peter Frampton. But, hey, he rocks! Thanks to the wonder of the Internet, I can now share his genius with you! (Isn't it amazing the things I can find to fill my blog in lieu of actual writing?) So anyway, here is the song that I tried to have as my wedding song not once, but twice! I will post another song I found in the next post...

Christine's Costa Rica Adventure - As Many Days As I Feel Like Recapping Here!

At long last! I am back to relaying my adventures in paradise! So, here goes...

Day Two

We head off from San Jose to Puerto Jiminez, which is on the southern end of the country. To get there, you have to take a puddle jumper. The first time I went to Puerto Jiminez was right after Aaliyah died in that plane crash. I was a little nervous to be getting on a small plane. Before you fly on Nature Air (Costa Rica's puddle jumper airline), they weigh you and your luggage (at least they don't yell out your weight to everyone in the tiny terminal), the owner of them lodge and his wife were on that flight and had what appeared to be 10 tons of luggage with them. Needless to say, I was a little nervous. Add to that the plane was about a big as a van with wings and our pilot looked to be about 12 years old. I survived that (obviously), so this time was no sweat. The "airport" in Puerto Jiminez is basically a landing strip and what looks like a bus stop. One interesting, but slightly disturbing thing is that it is right next store to a cemetery! We were picked up there and taken to the beautiful Crocodile Bay Lodge (about 5 minutes from the airport). The place is beautiful - airy and bright with no TV's in the room (so relaxing!) We got there in the early morning and had enough time to grab breakfast (I had Gallo Pinto - the typical Costa Rican breakfast, which is basically beans and rice, but it's so good!) and then we were off to do some inshore fishing. Our captain's name was Wilbert and he was awesome. We caught a lot of fish - the most of any of the boats that were out there that day - lots of snapper, jacks and needlefish. For some reason a full day of fishing really wears one out! It was Easter Sunday and the Lodge had quite the spread for dinner - a full buffet featuring some of the snapper we caught! Delish! After dinner and a few pina coladas it was off to bed and our next adventure...

Day Three
We woke up early (of course), scarfed down some Gallo Pinto and headed off for some offshore fishing. I caught my first sailfish, which weighed in at a hefty 80 lbs! Of course, Paul caught a sail too - it was a great day! Went back to enjoy libations at the swim-up pool bar (if I ever get a pool, I am so having a swim-up bar!) and another great dinner. Then (pooped again!), off to bed...

Day 4
More inshore fishing at the Lodge. Went out with Wilbert again, and Paul caught a fish he had never caught before (very rare for him!)- a Cubera Snapper -which also proved to be quite good eating!

More to come...

We interupt this travelogue...

I am (I promise) going to write the next installment of my Costa Rica trip soon - but in lieu of that, enjoy my favorite You Tube video...

Christine's Costa Rica Adventure - Day 1

I'm sure my 2 (or so) loyal readers of my blog have been dying to know what happened on my recent trip to Costa Rica. Well, I finally have gotten all of the pictures developed (yes, we actually used those old-timey (non-digital) film cameras for part of the trip!) and I have kind of gotten caught up with work, so I can begin to share my experiences with you. So, here goes...

We ventured out of Miami on Saturday, April 15th - we had a brief layover in Panama City (no, not that Panama City!) We wanted to grab a bite and thought we should probably hit the ATM in the terminal. When we approached, there was already a lady there using it - so we ventured closer to see what kind of unusual currency they used in Panama. Imagine our surprise when U.S. $20 bills came out! We didn't need any money there, the food in the airport was really cheap. P. got a hot dog, 2 sodas (one for me) and some chips for two bucks! We then flew into San Jose, the capital of the country. I had heard tales of a certain notorious hotel in San Jose and I knew I had to check it out for myself, so P., coolest husband ever, arranged for us to spend a night at the Hotel Del Rey. P.'s fishing buddies were quite surprised that I requested to stay there, but I couldn't resist. Just to clarify, the Hotel Del Rey (and accompanying bar, The Blue Marlin) is, to put it nicely, a brothel. The available ladies pack the bar and casino at all hours of the day, looking for "dates". If they end up making a "Love Connection", they will bring their "date" to their "manager" to arrange terms, then either head out of the Blue Marlin to parts unknown, or head up to one of the (actually quite comfy) rooms upstairs in the hotel. It was a fascinating evening of people watching. I, being what I assume was the only gringa in the place, was actually looked at a few times like I was "working" there (the working girls actually were pretty much dressed the same way as I was - low cut jeans, small t's and such - no outrageously slutty outfits to be found.) Of course, P. made sure I was not on the market (I think he did find it slightly amusing that men were checking me out and wondering what my asking price was!)It was really a much more benign experience than I was expecting - I've seen worse behavior in the bars in Orlando and Atlanta - but interseting nonetheless. Of couse we gambled a little, we blew a whopping $40 between the two of us (no worries about gambling addiction here!)and had a few Imperial (Costa Rican) beers (I'm not as much of a beer drinker as I used to be, but for some reason, when I'm in a country where Budweiser is considered an import, the availability of "exotic" beers at bargain prices is irresistable!) We also spent a little time around downtown San Jose, which offers pretty much what you'd expect to see in a third world country - numerous homeless folks and incredibly zippy street vendors, who could pack up in less than one minute when the threat of law enforcement was near (we witnessed this - they hustled at a speed I hadn't ever seen before once the signal was given that la policia were near.) From what I saw, Costa Rican steet vendors had few unique wares to offer - to me it looked like the same tired necklaces and designer sunglass knock-offs - but hey, they're trying to be self-sufficient, so more power to 'em!

All of this excitement actualy occurred in the first day of our adventure. Bet you're chomping at the bit to find out what happens next...

4 Years Older Than God

Yup. I'm 37. I'm in that blank spot before you hit the "big 4-0". Had an awesome birthday however - I was in Costa Rica as another year passed for me. Of course I'll share the highlights of my week in one of the most wonderful countries in the world (tied with Australia), just not tonight! Stay tuned - same Fitz time, same Fitz channel...

It hasn't really been 20 years, has it?

I was going to do a recap of my goings-on of late (at least I was going to a few weeks ago - gee, how time flies!) But another topic has taken over the blog for now. (And if you really want to know what's been going on, in a nutshell, Mom and Dad moved to the condo - after coming up here to see Dame Edna - where Dad (inevitably) got involved in the show, I won tickets to see Wanda Sykes in Orlando, and, having no one to go with, ventured out by myself and had an excellent time, and - being the good Irish gal I am - had a memorable St. Patty's Day, 'nuff said!)But I digress...

I graduated from high school in 1986. So for you math majors, this means that it's my 20 year reunion this year. It's no secret that my high school years were easily the worst 4 years of my life (overall - I did make, and keep, a few really good friends - good enough that I (Miss "I hate kids")actually attended my first baby shower a few weeks ago!) but, since I think I may actually look better than I did when I was in high school and have an adorable, wonderful, smart-ass husband, I thought it might be actually rather fun to go to my upcoming reunion. This idea was totally vetoed by my (3) high school buddies - who all had no plans of attending - I think they were still probably miffed that I missed our 10-year, but I had just (not even a month earlier) gotten promoted from CNN Tour Guide ("Where do Regis and Kathie Lee sit?" - obviously the bottom of the totem pole) to graphics operator in the main CNN control room (I had the worst schedule ever - 6pm - 3am, Monday and Tuesday off - but I knew I couldn't ask on my first day, "Oh, can I have a weekend off?" - I have tried to explain this a million times, to no avail - but I still love my girls!) Actually, 2 of my friends are preggers, and I can understand why they wouldn't want to go (I know I'd need at least a few drinks before I could see any of those people again!)Besides, I'll be moving closer to my friends by the end of the year (I hope, I hope) - so a reunion really is a moot point. SO (boy, I'm verbose tonight!), I had pretty much dismissed the whole reunion thing (besides, the organizer of the reunion copied me on an email about the soiree and the people she also sent the email to I had no interest in seeing whatsoever - which brought me to the conclusion - why should I spend (at least) $200 to spend the weekend with a bunch of people I never liked (and vice versa, I'm sure?) So, needless to say, my June calendar is open now!

But what I didn't really expect to happen is that I am reconnecting with my grade school friends. My absolute best childhood friend in the world found me on Classmates.com a while back, and I was so excited - we've been emailing, sending old photos back and forth, and actuially got together last year, and it's great. Well, she hooked me up with her high school reunion group, and today I heard from a girl I haven't taked to since 1982! It is so exciting and slightly overwhelming to see these people again after such a long time. As a whole, I am way more connected to the Curley Class of '86 than I ever was to the PJPII Class of '86. I've been trying to mask my excitement from my Mom, who blames herself pretty much every time we talk for moving me away from such a great bunch of kids and subjecting me to Boca Raton for my developmental years, but I'm so over all of that - still not gonna give my alma matter $200 though! It was awesome to relive, for just a moment, events like the one you see in the picture (the girl who I just heard from is the one I'm crushing in this photo!) Made me feel a little old...until I got carded tonight buying a bottle of wine!

We are off to Costa Rica on Saturday. Don't know if I'll have time for more entries before then. I am trying to promise myself that I'll return with a lot of cool travel blog entries. Let's keep our fingers crossed on that one!

My Dog Has More Friends Than Me

I'm back! Thanks to all of you who missed me (that would be you, Rose!)

I wrote a really lengthy entry yesterday, and thanks to the wonders of the Web, it has magically disappeared! I'll recount everything soon, but for now, I'll just get to the meat of the previous, lost post. I have a profile on MySpace - set up to help some of my single male friends tweak their profiles to meet chicks (apparently, I have a gift - it's how I met my husband.) So, anywhoo...I have about 43 "friends" - made up mostly of comedians and bands (as much as I'd like it to be true, Barenaked Ladies are not actually my friends!) I was able to reconnect with a few acquaintances from FSU, but only one real-life new friend (who my husband actually hooked me up with - no, we're not swingers!) I thought it would be cute to set Boo up on a site called Dogster - and wouldn't you know it, the bitch (literally) has more friends than me! Sad, really...

I'll recap the past few weeks in the next post!

Congrats to the Zimmers!

I don't have time for a proper post, but I just wanted to congratulate my sister and her new hubby on their nuptials. They did it smart - they eloped! All the best to you both! And to my (few) faithful readers, I promise many new exciting posts in the near future!

If There's A Dive Bar, Yo I'll Find It...

I don't know what it is about me, but I can find a dive bar in any city I visit! Last night I went over to Orlando, to help sell the Orlando area to one of his reps' wives (they're moving from Minnesota, so it wasn't really a hard sell!) We were actually in Altamonte Springs, spitting distance from the house that my ex-hubby and I shared. Dinner was at Crazy Buffet (yum!) where we enjoyed 2-4-1 wine and loads of sushi. P. and I decided to have a nightcap, so I suggested that we check out the bars at a strip mall (in Florida! Quel surprise!) that was across the road from the restaurant. I had been to the sports bar there a loooooong time ago, and was fascinated with the bar next door to it - Cooter Brown's. Yes, Cooter Brown's. As I have an affinity for bars with "Cooter" in their name (as in the lovely bar we hung out in before my wedding), P. and I headed inside. There was metal on the jukebox (Motley Crue's "Dr. Feelgood") and the drinks were cheap and strong. The clientele, however, led me to believe that this bar could be categorized as a "place where someone's gonna get in a fight". The petite flower sitting on the bar stool next to me was fascinated with my hair color. She complemented me, asked for my hairdresser's name, and promptly fell off her barstool. Oh, and before the tumble, she almost got into a fight with a rather harsh looking middle aged woman with a cowboy hat and bad implants. Let the good times roll...

By the way, I miss Orlando. That's sad. I think what this really says is that I just don't like the Tampa area. I don't get a good "vibe" about the area. Could also be the huge image of my favorite anchor/crush from the tv station I worked for that was plastered on the "Super Duper Doppler" tower! Oh well...

Married? Yeah, married...sheesh!

I don't know why I get a kick out of the title of today's blog entry - I used this "Sixteen Candles" quote when telling a few friends that my youngest sis was getting married sometime soon (the wedding date and location have moved around quite a bit). First it was September in Illinois then March in New Orleans. If she can pin down a date, I'd love to go!

So anyway...I really wanted to write about my big weekend in Hooterville. I really didn't know what to do - we wanted to do something but didn't have the motivation to drive to civilization (Tampa), so we chose to make do with the cavalcade of entertainment that only Port Richey has to offer. Of course, we ended up at the movie theater (much more pleasant since they enforced the curfew!) Saw "Date Movie", which ranks up there with the worst movies I have ever seen (and that's really saying something!) It was just bad. Not "so bad it's good" - a la "Showgirls". Just godwafully bad. Usually chattering and texting teens annoy the hell out of me, but this time they were a welcome diversion from what was going on onscreen. I felt ripped off. So anyway, after such a promising beginning, how to end an evening like this? Why, the "Jale House (yes, that is actually whay the sign says - "Jale". Maybe the guy who owns "The Karl Reef" owns this one too - naah...it's just that no one in Pasco County can spell) Karaoke Cafe"!

We approached the rundown building and saw a sign that said $10 cover. Since we were only staying for one drink, we didn't want to pay the cover. We started to head back to the car and a guy popped his head out the door and yelled to us that there was no cover. So we ventured, hesitantly, inside. There were about 15 people on the cramped dance floor doing "The Electric Slide", so things were not looking good for a lengthy cocktail stop. There was an assortment of motley folks in the club (about 25 in all) - there was the guy who looked like Greg Allman, the lady in the blue velour track suit (very tight and not too kind to her shlubby physique), a guy in a cowboy hat, and the obligatory black guy/fat white chick combo. There was a karaoke "host" floating around, wearing one of those dumb rasta wigs from Spencer's. He didn't sing, he just contributed a few "Awwwwyeah"s over the mic. Actually, for a karaoke bar, there was a strange shortage of karaoke. There were fat binders, full of songs on the tables, and a few people perusing them (Greg Allman for one), but no one took the stage. Until...finally..."Let's bring Rose to the stage." Rose, who was most likely in her mid 50s, proceeded to launch into "Roses Are Red" by Bobby Vinton. She got to about the second line when P. said "That's it" and made a beeline for the door. Guess we'll have to find another place to hang out. At least it was a concrete, tangible example to show P. what was wrong with Port Richey - and insurance that we'll soon be moving to civilization!

Midnight in the Garden of Freeze

Thought that since it's V-day, I'd give a little recap of the past weekend, which was my present from P. - a weekend in Savannah. Savannah is "our place" - when we lived in Atlanta (sniffle!), we used to go there every few weekends, as it's where P. kept his boat. Now it's a really big treat to head up there. P. went up before me, as he had a reservation with Captain Judy to fish and really wanted to go (I had to work.) He called me when he got there and said "It's COLD!" I packed a bunch of sweaters and 3 (count 'em) jackets to make the trek up to our frosty retreat. We stayed at the River Street Inn, right in the center of the action. The hotel was absoultely awesome - historic, balcony overlooking the river, chocolates on the pillow even! I got in late Friday and we wnet to dinner and had a few drinks (Wet Willie's - which I can't believe I patronized so much with the chilly temperatures outside! Kevin Barry's Pub too - where some girl was wearing a backless halter top in 30 degree temperatures. BY THE DOOR!) Didn't really have a plan for Saturday, which was good because we didn't get up until 1pm! Did some shopping (which mostly entailed looking at novelty t-shirts and drooling in the candy stores - but P. did find a stuffed chicken that did the Chicken Dance, which was amusing for about 5 minutes) and had our traditional dinner at the Shrimp Factory (yum!) Then the night got weird...

I was at Wet Willie's alone (Paul had to go up to the room to drop our stuff off) and these 2 large gals bellied up to the bar (they had a lot of belly, so they had no difficulty with that) and one of the babes proceeded to dump the scrawny, redneck (well, we are in Georgia! At least he had all of his teeth. He told me he went to Clemson, but I'm thinking the city, not the university!) dude that was with her off on me - presumably so she could keep his Colts baseball hat. So, even after I told him I was married, he stuck to me and stayed even when P. came into the bar. Then in comes a Bachelorette Party (the girls were making the bride-to-be earn badges for completing her "tasks." I thought the Girl Scout theme was appropriate for Savannah - birthplace of Juliette Gordon Low - their founder. Quite creative.) Poor scrawny dude couldn't get any play from any of the Bachelortettes. Poor guy. Kinda felt sorry for him. Felt sorry for myself the next morning! I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that Wet Willie's frozen concoctions, wine and Chatham Artillery Punches don't mix!

Went to the sloooooooweeeessssttt restuarant Sunday morning (well afternoon, you know how that goes.) We waited "20 minutes" to get a table (I guess "20 minutes" is Savannah Speak for "a real long time".) P. was seated next to a petite flower stretching her sweatpants to their limit, displaying her "summer teeth" and topping it all off with a cap emblazoned with not only a Playboy bunny, but also the annoying phrase "Git R' Done". Yup, Georgia. I think they had 6 out of the 75 tables in the place occupied and the service was awful. I think they had one host (who spent most of his time hiding - he was never at the podium), one waiter, one busboy and one cook (or maybe that was where the host kept sneaking off to...) At least the food was good.

I'm sure I could say more and relate more amusing anecdotes, but I am actually burned out! More on that later...

Cupid, draw back your bow...

Just wanted to enter a quickie today. Everytime I check my email lately, I get a million reminders to get my Valentine a present next week. I don't think my husband wants candy and flowers. I don't know why I keep getting these, but it is amusing watching companies try to market their wares as good Valentine's gifts. Say "I love you" with a new Food Saver. Give your Valentine the gift of meat (yes, even Omaha Steaks is in on the action!) I don't know about you, but a nice card and a small bauble in a light blue box is fine with me (kidding, you don't have to get a card...)

Honestly, do we really need Valentine's Day? When I was single, I hated it (but not as much as New Year's, but that's fodder for another blog entry.) And it's hard to get a guy a gift - I hate when they get me a gift and all I have is a card. Maybe I should give the gift of meat? And the cards! Back in the day, I would get cards for my friends for V-day, but it was gettng increasingly hard to find cards for someone you hadn't seen naked (in a romantic way - I was a fraternity little sis, so I saw a lot!) I almost resorted to getting one of those boxes of Valentine's that we used to send to each other as kids (the ones with pictures of cute, fuzzy animals and really bad puns - or if you had dough, they were emblazoned with the popular cartoon characters of the day.) Now I just reserve cards for hubby and my folks (our family has single-handedely been keeping Hallmark in business for over 25 years!)

But really, if you have a good idea for a guy gift, let me know...

43 Things

As my faithful readers know (all 2 of you), I like to surf the Internet and find things to do to occupy my time. Lately I came across a great site called 43 Things. So, of course, I signed up. Heck, I can accomplish 43 more things before I die, right? I actually have done quite a bit since I set this list up a month or two ago (So do I add new things or just finish the list first? They don't really tell you...)So here's my list (complete with snarky comments):

1. Learn Japanese - pretty self-explanatory. This might be a good time to say that these aren't in any particular order.
2. Meet Peter Frampton - obviously, this would be my number one thing!
3. Learn to play guitar - I am not counting the guitar classes I took in third grade, where I single-handedly took "Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley", a nice old folk song and reduced it to a funeral dirge, thanks to my awkward chord changes!
4. Move to Australia - easier said than done, right mate?
5. Be a better wife - this one will, I'm afraid, always be on my list!
6. Write a book and have it published - working on that! Started writing class yesterday, and I have promised myself I'd work on my book for a half hour a day. Let's see how long that lasts!
7. Make new friends - trying...
8. Figure out what I want to do with my life - 36 and floating! Maybe if I write that book...
9. Clean out the clutter - this could be taken a few different ways. I'm sure it's the literal way here. I have put a bunch of my books up for sale on Amazon and gotten rid of 3 bags full of clothes - but I'm nowhere near crossing this one off!
10. Go back to Improv comedy - I am trying that too...hard to find the time!
11. Finish my Master's degree - my biggest recent regret. I am going to do this - I was all the way up to my thesis - darn it!
12. Bone upon my Spanish - para mi viaje a Costa Rica en abril. I don't want to have to ask for "cow" at a restaurant because I forgot the word for "beef" again!
13. Go back to Ireland - I'd like to go as an adult - and just live off Guinness and chips for a week!
14. Swim with sharks - I don't even know if they still do this. I knew someone who did this a few years ago and it looked so cool. Of course, I would prefer for this to be a pre-arranged, supervised by professionals kind of experience!
15. Be more diligent about exercising - going to the gym after work is hard, but I have been better at staying away from the TV at night, so this is achievable, I think...
16. Take dance classes - I'd like to find something that is not like classes I've taken in the past - me and a gaggle of pre-teen girls trying to learn a cutesy hip-hop routine (we never even made it through a whole verse of a song!)
17. Join a writing group -actually did this! Now I just have to go to a meeting...
18. Be happy - this is a hard thing to get my arms around - should have put be happy more - no one can be happy all of the time - that's freakish.
19. Cook more - I did do the chili thing on Sunday, so that's a step in the right direction, right? It would help if P. shared my taste for low-fat, mostly vegetarian foods (this will never happen, P. could be the poster boy for Omaha Steaks!)
20. Be more confident
21. Not be stressed - hopefully this will be resolved real soon - like July, perhaps?
22. Be happy with my body - next.
23. Spend more time with my family - this entails more drives to Naples down the nightmare that is I-75. And expensive dog boarding. I still want to see everybody more!
24. Be better with money - I am working on this. I'd be great if I made more though!
25. Stop drinking so much soda - I'll get to this, as soon as I finish this Coke Zero...mmmm....Of course, I can't give up soda completely, as I'd have nothing to mix with my rum! Rummy, rum, rum....
26. Figure out how to play Playstation 2 - I miss Atari. I have tried to play Madden 2005 but get so confused with all of the buttons - I can't spend my down time keyed up about pushing the "X" when I'm supposed to push the triangle and push the left button to move. Frustrating.
27. Learn computer graphics - I used to know some stuff, but you know how technology goes. I think I learned Flash 0.5 or something!
28. Fix my web site - need to do this badly.
29. Learn as much as I can - never getting crossed off either!
30. Learn to sing - not just karaoke.
31. Go to Japan - P.?
32. Get motivated - for what I'm not sure. How about everything!
33. Move - I think this was literal. July...
34. Fix my tattoo - I have to do something with the dumb shamrock on my hip. I got it at a really bad time in my life (long story) and I'm reminded of it everytime I look at it!
35. Win the lottery - who doesn't want this?
36. Keep in touch with friends better - I emailed Eric today...
37. Fish more and better - this one goes with being a better wife!
38. See Hawaii - this should happen within the next few years.
39. Find the perfect hair color - as my self-esteem ebbs and flows, I like my hair and alternately hate it. Blond? Red? Brunette? I have been all of these (currently red) but still haven't found the "mack daddy" color.
40. Consolidate my belongings - did I mention I'm selling some books?
41. Stop procrastinating - I'll do this after I check out eBay...
42. Get my first pedicure - did this on Saturday! Had a fancy-schmancy chocolate manicure. Quite decadent. Cross this baby off!!
43. Be in a movie - SeaQuest doesn't count - I want to be on the big screen!

That's it - seems like I can realistically cross everything off the list. I (as always) will keep you posted...

The Great Tot Conspiracy

They're closing in on me! Just when I start to lose weight (yay on one resoultion at least), my biggest crave in the world is getting closer and closer, surrounding me in a whirlpool of hot oil and potato goodness. Yes, the tater tot.

Let me 'splain. Ever since my Atlanta days, my taste for tots was re-awakened and for a while, I could not get enough of them. We would try to end every drunken night at the Highlander, a bar in Midtown with a very ecclectic crowd - bikers, nouveau-hippies, goths, a few guys who looked like washed-out Glam Rock stars from the 70s and us. The highlight of a visit to the Highlander was ordering a heaping "pitcher o' tots" - literally, a beer pitcher full of the crispy treats. I am a "tot virgin" myself - I don't like 'em scattered, smothered, covered or even dipped in ketchup, just lightly salted, fresh from the fryer. My friends like a little more variety, and one night got more than they bargained for, as some tacks mysteriously appeared in their bowl of chili-covered tots ("tacks n' tots" as my friend Kib dubbed them - he was the one who picked around the tacks to eat all of the tots he could - waste not, want not, right?) On nights I couldn't get to the Highlander, it was Ore-Ida to the rescue! I have a bad habit of cooking under the influence - and not anything that can just be microwaved - oh no, it has to involve the stove or boling water or some other potentially dangerous activity (pasta was one of my favorites - and one night in college a friend of mine and I had a craving for tempura - I had little red oil burn marks all over my arms for the next few days!) So, one night after I got home from some local tavern, I proceeded to bake some tots and watch TV. I fell asleep on the floor, only to awaken, bolt upright and inhale the smoke. The resulting charvoal briquettes killed my tot craving pretty effectively for the night. The whole low carb/South Beach thing kind of changed my relationship with tots, but some new alarming developments have seen the re-awakening of my tot cravings.

Napoleon Dynamite. Yes, damn you Napoleon! His lunchtime tots looked way better than anything I was ever served at school! As tempting as they looked, and thanks to whatever is going on in my body that has reduced my drunken munchies (it's not for lack of drinking, that's for sure!) I am able to resist, with the occasional hiccup or 2 (P. likes the tots too - what kind of wife would I be if I didn't share the tot experience with him?) The other recent development is more disturbing. There have been an alarming number of Sonic fast food restaurants popping up all over my neighborhood. Coincidence...or conspiracy??? Not only is that disturbiong in itself, but Sonic and it's competetors have seemed to have taken over Port Richey - as soon as a new Steak n' Shake, Taco Hell, Wendy's, etc. pops up, a "good" restaurant (where your food isn't served on a plastic tray) disappears! I am well aware that Port Richey is not the first place that comes to anyone's mind when one thinks haute cuisine, but come on! I can't be the only person who wants to live in a world where everytihng isn't fried! I'm scared...hold me...

Image courtesy of baconneggs.gfxartist.com

I have a good excuse...

I have been busy (at work, no less!) this week! I haven't had much time for the usual activities - such as scouring the 'net for more trivial information than anyone would ever need and looking at wacky videos and movie trailers, and I am actually happy about it - it makes the days zip by!

In other news, the pooch finally gets to lose the "satellite dish" tomorrow. Thank God. It makes her head an enormous battering ram that has left the backs of my knees bruised and sore. She has become more of a chicken as she's gotten older - yeah she's only pushing 7 months, but come on - she's supposed to be a watchdog for me when P.'s away, and she's terrified of cardboard boxes, tin foil and thunder (as I found out this AM.) She's a 53 pound chicken!

It's Super Bowl weekend and I have been drafted to make my (almost) world-famous chili (I actually got the recipe off the wall at Chili's years and years ago - my own personal take on it involves every hot thing I can find - habaneros, scotch bonnets, jalepenos, Tabasco...you get the point.) I almost got away without having to prepare it, as P. and one of his buddies were supposed to be fishing in Louisiana until late Sunday, but the weather changed his plans quite drastically. It has been the nastiest winter ever - rain, wind and yuck. I need Spring. I need renewal. I have been getting rid of stuff like crazy (but I did buy a new Pink Lady album - I had to!) Some things I still just can't part with - like my stupid collectible KISS and Austin Powers action figures (got 2 sets of Gene and the gang!) I also can't explain the appeal of my Ginger Spice doll collection (I guess it's because she was so sassy!) The Cher doll - don't need to explain (unfortunately, my 1970's pre-mummification Cher doll is long gone, but I have made do with the milennial version.) I suppose if some of this stuff was worth a few bucks on eBay, I could easily part with them, but last time I checked, you could get all of these for about $10 total. I'll just keep 'em. With my luck I would sell them and the next day there'd be some freak accident where a plane carrying Mike Myers crashes into the KISS tour bus or something! Wow, did I go off on a tangent!

My writing class starts Monday, so maybe I will have some better material on here soon!

Lazy Friday

It's cliche, but thank God it's Friday. What a long week! P. finally comes home today. It's a good thing I have so many pictures of him, or I'd forget what he looks like! Of course, he's fishing this weekend, and I'm continuing the quest to get to the floor in my room (I am getting there...don't know why I can't get rid of my Beanie Babies cllection or Austin Powers Action figures, I am strangely attached to them - and they're not worth squat on eBay - I checked!) I also need to weed through the boxes upon boxes of what I call "memorabilia" and everyone else calls "crap" that needs to go into scrapbooks. I actually finished one (detailing my first Atlanta stint - the Ron-Rocky-CNN era) but that's such a small stretch of my life - I don't know how many books I'll have filled once I fill in all of those gaps! One thing I definitely want to keep is sadly missing, I have lost my Pink Lady album. (Pink Lady is the Japanese disco duo who had an infamously short-lived TV show - produced by Sid & Marty Krofft and co-starring Jeff "Buttsteak" Altman, who has never been funny. Never.) I am very sad. I have also figured out that I really don't have much to say today - the ennui is killing me! I'll write more later, but in the mean time, if you find my Pink Lady album, please let me know.



And you wondered why I was such a Spice Girls fanatic...

Dammit, we can't have nice things...

Greetings on post-Hump Day! First off, we got the vacation situation all worked out. I will be permitted to take a week off (without pay, of course) to go to Costa Rica, as long as I don't take one more second off until my year anniversary in June. This also means that I have to drive to Savannah by myself on Friday and miss out (again) on fishing with the legendary Captain Judy. Oh well, at least I won't be subjected to the country stations P. has programmed into his Sirius unit! At least I have my XM, Dane Cook and Jim Gaffigan to keep me company!

Now, to the matter at hand. The destructo-dog! Ever since Boo has come into our lives, we have managed to keep the things we would like to be free of bite marks and slobber (shoes, books, etc.) out of harm's way. We also have a wide array of things she can chew on in lieu of my Steve Madden pumps or P.'s surge protector. Unfortunately, since she is still limited by the big satellite dish around her head, she has been denied her chewies because she tends to thrash around quite a bit, and her stitches have started pulling a bit. I don't want a return engagement at the vet, so no playtime for the pooch until she's healed. SO...this AM, she found something new. In the 5 minutes I stepped into the bathroom to put on my makeup (yes fellas, it actually only takes me 5 minutes to put on my face. The hair, however, is another story - and don't even get me started on finding something to wear!) she managed to chew up a substantial portion of the carpet in front of the laundry room - even exposing the "painstick" thast holds the carpet down (if you have ever stepped on it, you know exactly what I'm talking about.) This wouldn't be so bad if we hadn't just had some other mishaps in the house, calling for insurance claims and repairmen trotting through the house (it's feeling more and more like that horrible movie "The Money Pit" every day.) At least we can tack this on to the list. By the time we get done fixing everything, P. isn't going to want to leave! Great. I was beyond pissed this morning - and even her big, sad brown eyes didn't keep Boo out of her cage. (That's hard...could you resist this?

I thought not...