Welfare Mama

Yep, I'm sucking on the gub'ment teat right now, which sucks. Big time. Today I had to go to the unemployment office (optimistically called the "One Stop Career Center" or something close to that) for "orientation" (sounded scary). What a waste of time - at least it was only 30 minutes. One of the gals crammed in the teeny office with me actually took a phone call while the lady in charge was talking to us. That's cojones. So, I'm still unemployed and looking!

Wednesday's post (in yo' face, Rose!)

I have been writing up a storm today (if you missed House or Biggest Loser last night, head on over to the Recapist to see my (really lengthy) recaps.) I had a total "I could kick myself" moment last night. I saw the incredible Henry Rollins last night at a teeny, tiny theater in West Palm. I was parked directly behind his tour bus, which I thought was weird. Henry, as always, delivered a solid 2 hours and 45 minutes of smart humor (which is such a turn-on. I love his adventurous spirit and intellect. He was totally on-point last night.) As I was leaving, I saw a crowd assembled around his tour bus. Thinking, "He'll never come out.", I got in my car and proceeded to leave, which is the moment I saw the man himself emerge from the stage door. But, since I had: a.) no camera and b.) none of his books on hand, I decided not to look like a complete dork and try to re-park the car. I'm sure I would have said something equally as stupid as what I said when I met a comic idol, Eric Idle, when I worked at Universal, "You're my favorite Monty Python guy!" (And I said that completely sober. Honest.) I think "You're my favorite Henry Rollins guy" may have gotten me a place in his act, but I'm sure he was happy to have one less hand to shake. I did it for you, Henry...just remember this for the next time you go on tour, 'cause I'll be armed. Camera, books, photos...I'll have 'em all!

Tales of Unemployment

In keeping with my promise, I'm making my daily contribution, but I'm keeping it short as I am actually working on some writing work AND I'm going to see Henry Rollins tonight (yay!) and still have to get ready.

Let me just say that being (basically) unemployed sucks. I know I'm gaining weight, I have logged countless hours of viewing "The People's Court", "Judge Mathis" and "Judge Judy" and surfing the Internet (not only to see the same 15 jobs I've either applied for and never heard back from or am terribly unqualified for, but to check out the latest in celebrity gossip. Yikes.) I've applied for 20 jobs so far and haven't gotten one phone call. Sad, really. At least I did get a nice writing gig at the Florida Catholic (which is what I'm working on today) and I've had ample time for my recaps (which is also good.) Oh well, hopefully opportunity will come a-knockin' soon!

A promise to myself - and a little Gaffigan for good measure

Ok. Enough is enough. I have to, have to get going with this blogging thing again. I am making a promise to myself to post something, no matter how trivial, every day (here and on Frampton for My 40th.) I'm going to start with a hilarious email I got from one of my favorite comedians, Jim Gaffigan:

Reasons Why I'm Glad Summer is Over

No more sunscreen:
For pale people like myself, putting on sunscreen is no simple task. It's a chore. Once when my wife and I were on vacation, she said she was going to the beach and I told her I would meet her down there after I put on sunscreen. I actually got down to the beach a year later. True story. During the summer pale people also have to make sure they get everything covered in that greasy goo. I always miss a place and have a pink smudge tattoo for a week. Or just my ears are sunburned. Very attractive.

No More Legs:
The shorts get put away. Believe me, you don't want to see my legs. Hell, I don't want to see my legs. When I wear shorts people look at me like, "Hey, I'm trying to eat here and you've got those sausage legs". Fair enough. But frankly, I don't want to see your legs either. First of all most legs are just as bad as mine. And the ladies with the really nice legs? Excuse me, I'm trying to concentrate on being a good husband and you are taunting me as you casually walk by on your cell phone filling my head with impure thoughts. How dare you, Madam!

No more outdoors:
During the summer there is way too much pressure to do things outside. "It's sunny. We should do something outside!" Hey I've been outside. It's not that great. Outdoor activities always tend to interrupt my napping and watching of Law & Order marathons.

No more crocs:
Somewhere along the way this summer, adult men decided they would look good in those shoes obviously designed for toddlers or Martha Stewart. They were wrong and unfortunately it will take a change of season to get the dorks out of these garish eyesores. Maybe when it's a little chillier we won't have to be subjected to the 40-year-old guy in purple Crocs. Unfortunately, we are now entering "the men in clogs" part of the year, immediately followed by the even more upsetting "Men in Uggs" season. Ugg! I don't care if "They're comfy". You look like you robbed a teenage girl.

Nothing gets done during the summer:
I don't care what business you are in, everyone seems to view summer as a three-month vacation. The prevailing attitude seems to be "Well it's summer so I'm not gonna do any work". In the entertainment business it's even worse. All summer I seem to hear, "I'm going on vacation and then my boss is going on vacation, so I'll give you an answer in November."

More Bacon:
Now that summer is over I can finally enjoy eating tons of bacon.
Sure I always eat a lot of bacon, but during the fall it seems to tastes better. Let's be honest, bacon is more enjoyable to eat in a sweatshirt than in a bikini. Maybe that's just me. Boy, do I love me some bacon.

Back to Sugar: See, now wasn't that easy? More to come, I promise!

Sad News

Morning anchor Tom Schaad confirms that he is leaving WESH-Channel 2 in October after nearly 12 years there.

He is looking for another job but doesn't have "anything in stone." And he is diplomatic about leaving.

"That's the TV business," he says. "We all understand that. They make changes to accommodate the viewer. You have to abide by that. It's one of the things you accept when you become an anchor."

He is upbeat about those dozen years at the NBC affiliate. His morning newscast usually ran second to the one on WFTV-Channel 9.

"It's a good stint at a television station," Schaad says. "I love Central Florida. The viewers have been so kind. With all the choices you have in morning news, to do as well as we've done, I'm proud of that."

Let me be the first to say that visiting Orlando will definitely not be the same after Tom departs. A little expositon here, (and a BIG disclaimer) I had a huge crush on Tom when I was working at WESH oh, so many years ago. I regard him as a great friend and know that wherever he ends up, he's going to be a huge success. I hoist a big, P.F. Chang lettuce wrap to you, Tom!

Update

I'm still alive, just kind of unemployed right now. I promise updates real soon, including a full recap of "Christine's California Adventure". Will write (anything) for food, electricity, dog bones, etc!